The World Through A Child’s Eyes

wopsle

Sometimes children are unintentionally hilarious.  The best part about this situation is that they generally are being completely honest!  Pip’s irritation with Mr. Wopsle’s Roman nose just cracked me up.  It’s probably something most people at that table are thinking and yet it takes a child to really put the words to it.  Children are bluntly honest and I think that Dickens understood that phenomenon beautifully.  Children are often times just thinking what everyone else is but it’s their brutal nature about it that just really brings the whole thing into the realm of humorous.

My son has been talking forever.  I mean the child had full sentences by a year old and he just couldn’t shut off the vocalization, even in his sleep.  So to say that I’ve had to deal with some embarrassing things coming out of his mouth would be the understatement of the year.  So here I go, yep I’m going to do it, I’m going to formally publicly embarrass my child.  Ah sweet sweet sweet revenge!

  • When he was about four we were standing in the grocery store check out.  In front of us was an older man that just reeked.  I’m sorry but this man had not showered in some time.  It was absolutely nasty but social convention dictates that I say nothing.  So there I stood when I heard my son say “Mommy, that man stinks like butt.”  Now this wasn’t a quiet declaration and there was no possible way the man did not hear him.  People all around started to giggle and I turned as red as a tomato.  What do you say?  So my response was “That’s not very nice to say.”  At which he replied “Alright but he still stinks.”
  • When my son was around three I took him to walk the mall.  He was walking wonderfully next to me and I was just about to congratulate him on how well he was doing.  However, in walks a group of teenagers with their pants hanging down.  You know the whole underwear showing thing.  They did not look like a very pleasant crowd however my son decided that something must be done.  He ran up to them, with me attempting to grab him, and declared “Excuse me but do you know your underwear are showing?”  They looked down at him, looked up at me, and started cracking up.  As we were walking away, me breathing a sigh of relief, he said “I still don’t understand why their underwear are showing.”
  • As I have stated before, we moved to Florida when my son was five years old.  Meeting new people was somewhat of a challenge.  So we were finally invited to a birthday party, which happened to be at the local mall.  So I’m sitting with this whole group of parents I know nothing about, attempting to be on my best behavior.  My son is with all the little kids and the hosts across the food court.  Now you should probably be made aware that our food court is like an acoustic heaven, if you make any noise whatsoever it’s twenty times louder in that food court.  So what does my son do?  He stands up on the chair and yells across the food court to me “Mom, Mom”.  Now that’s pretty embarrassing in and of itself, I ask him what.  He continues “I just thought I would warn you, Chick Fil A makes me a little gassy.”  What in the world do you say to that?  So I just said “Ok” and then proceeded to want to crawl under the table.  There was nothing but an uproar of laughter in the food court, random old ladies were kissing him on the head, one teenager came up to me and said he hasn’t laughed that hard in a long time.  Luckily for me, the people I was surrounded by are great.  To this day we remain friends.

The statement goes that you never know what a child will say.  That’s absolutely the truth but the fact is, there’s nothing he said that was a lie.  Chick Fil A does make him gassy, the man did stink, and their underwear were hanging out!  In the end, I wouldn’t trade one embarrassing moment for all the world, they make me laugh.  He still says socially awkward things but you could never accuse my son of lying!

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