I Knew It



I knew it, I knew it, I knew it.  I have read ahead, just trying to get this book completed and I knew it was him.  All along, I just had this feeling that he was repaying Pip for the service.  I knew that Miss Havisham never would have spent her money on a boy.  Pip was nothing more than a plaything for Estella.  A boy to practice her tricks on.

Speaking of Estella, poor Pip has really got it bad for her and he’s going to get seriously hurt.  The girl is a walking disaster.  A cold heart and an even colder conscience.  It’s sad but the true reality of what I call the lack of nurturing.  We’ve all seen them, we all know them, people who were raised in homes of coldness.  No matter how much you love them, you’ll never touch that part of them.  It’s part of their very being.

I am starting to soften when it comes to Pip.  I like him better after page 300 than I ever did before.  He was simply too whiny for my liking before then.  We’re starting to see him  as a human now.  A man with thoughts and feelings that are not that far removed from ourselves.  I remember when my paternal grandmother passed away.  My father had had a strained relationship with his family for years and so I hardly knew them at all.  My father always was closer to my maternal grandmother than his own mother.  As a result, when she passed away the feelings were so strange.  I remember thinking that I should probably be upset that she passed but genuinely I felt nothing.  It no profound impact on my life and didn’t change the world I lived in very much at all.  Like Pip with his sister, it was an odd mourning.  I went through the routine of her calling hours and funeral but I simply could care the less.  To be honest, it felt like I was mourning the loss of a stranger and felt so foreign inside me.

I have now read forty chapters of Great Expectations and I can honestly say, I am now starting to see the appeal.  The  story is twisty and dark but has a heart to it.  Pip went through all the normal stages of development.  The fear of childhood, the realization that you want more, the separation of adolescence, even the self absorbed nature of young adulthood.  We’ve all been there.  We may not have had a convict to give us a handsome living but we came into our own over time.  None of us is born the same as we are today.  It’s a gradual growth and development.  I am certainly not who I was twenty years ago and that’s fine by me.  I didn’t like her much anyways.  Who among us has never said a hurtful thing to a family member and then live with the shame of that for a very long time?  We all have a little Pip living within us and that’s the way it should be.  Fiction should reflect the basics of human form and development and if it didn’t we wouldn’t read it.  We want to read books that make us feel that our insanity is perfectly justified.  It’s perfectly normal to develop how we did and that’s the power of a gifted author.

I adored the section on the Victorian funeral of Mrs. Gargery.  After reading so much on the process, it was fascinating to see it written by someone who went through it.  You know Charles Dickens attended a few of those in his life.  It really is a fascinating history and one worth reading fully.  They truly embraced the whole process of death and dying.  Today we try to ignore it, we do.  We try to stave it off with liposuction, plastic surgery, diets, exercise, and fountains of youth.  The truth is, that no matter where we come from or who we are, it is a universal reality.  There’s a lot you can learn from history by studying the act of dying and mourning.  It’s an intriguing.

We have just a little ways left to go with Dickens and then we are onto Carroll.

Challenge chapters 41-50


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